Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I want...

I want to tell you how much I've missed you since you've been gone, but I can't because I can sense that you haven't.
I want to tell you that I care about you in a way that I think might be illegal, because something tells me you might care about someone else the way I do for you.
I'd like to think of that as an attempt to break an entry.
I want to tell you that if you gave me a second look or a first chance, it just might be the biggest treasure that your heart would find, but I can't because that would be a plea for love.
I want to tell you that a moment getting to actually know me, just might be the moment you're searching all the wrong places for but I can't, it would take the value out of my worth.

I want you to come close, a step, two, three or even four closer and feel a hug that fits so perfectly into your mold.
I want you to ask me for my Skype I.D just because you are desperately in need to pretend that the distance is non-existent.
I want you to remember that you left me behind and with every thought in your day, mold the idea of my presence into it.
I want you to ignore these ridiculous breakouts that just suddenly attacked my face and see me blemish-free, with words like, "you're beautiful" tailored into your "hello"

I want a lot of things from you, but most of what I want is for you to want me to want you so much that you feel that I don't deserve you, but someone better.
I want you to let me in that I may treat you the way I've imagined I'd treat my man, if he ever came around.

I want to understand reasons why I care about you in ways beyond my control.
I want to understand why a man like you gets so much of my attention and I can't seem to refuse.
I want to understand why, despite my in-depth understanding on the power a man in engulfed by when he finds that special someone he wants, and chases her, I can't seem to let you go since I clearly am not that one.
I want to know what gives you the right to take a hold of my heart, in your hands instead of your heart.
I want to know a lotta things about you, along the lines of the origin of your audacity to step into my life with a refusal to leave my heart, the coincidence of our meeting and the way things have evolved into nothing....

I want to know when you would leave, if you plan on leaving and most of all how much longer I must bear such insane uncertainty.

I want you out by the end of this year!
If you won't make a move or your intentions clear, I refuse to carry such emotional baggage that I'm sure you have no idea belongs to you in my once-emo-clutter-free-heart.

It's time to go!

H

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