I'm sitting in the dark, lying still and weak from the days work,
Wishing for your love, hoping for the warmth of your love that soothes the stress and re-affirms my mind of security, A warmth, that proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that my worries are subjective to your presence, A presence that completely distracts me from my consistently racing mind, my frequent bleeding heart and currently aching body.
With you, it's needless to say, "it is well", because for some reason, your very existence in my life is evidence. For an even weirder reason, the words that I always once needed to hear when my burdens felt heavier are belittled because your actions undermine, completely the power of the once supernaturally powerful words of encouragement. Who knew that it was possible to embody, love, peace and joy all in one person? Each morning, after thanking God that he had mercy on me to see a new day, you're the very next thing/person/thought, I'm grateful for. My morning smile, grows wider, knowing that you're in my life. Your absolute goodness, urges me to pray that every one of my loved ones is blessed with their own perfect man, just as I have been blessed with mine.
I ignore your faults not because my love is blind, but because my love could careless of your short comings, my love would wait for you, stand by you as we build a bond that is unbreakable...Again, my love is not blind to the fact that you're not as handsome as the next person, because to me in so many other ways you somehow end up being even more handsome than the next guy. Yes, they call it blindness, but the truth is I see the difference, but you still mean more and look better...so I call it caring less. My love would always, without fail, within my power, with the help of other peoples powers, when I'm powerless, to answer when you call because you've answered, always, before I call.
*painting the picture* Now I'm off my bed, on my dining table, having dinner, still in the dark, pretending to create the Nigerian feeling where there is no power, its raining cats and dogs, rather chilly but perfect. For a very odd reason, my creativity sparks up during those moments. Except that I'm actually pouring out a whole lot of my sincere state right now...not creativity.
*snapping out of it*
Well you're not here but the day dreaming was worth the while. I imagine the days where running into your arms alone didn't need to calm a storm but just to comfort my heart. I imagine times after a long day at work where I would sit in your arms, silently, without even a word of complaint or panic. Other times where I would kiss you 20 times, with every pause stating how much I missed you, even though the last time I saw you was at 8am, that morning. Many times you would talk about your day and how things went up and down but all in all you're just glad to be home. Imagining....the volumes your hugs would speak completely leaves me dumbfounded and anticipating...
OK, OK...........Lemme stop here before I get carried away. soooo....hmmm.....
#whistling...followed by, "hey sexy" and some other annoying composed utterance...was the start of my day to work yesterday. I was coming off the bus when "John Bull" and I almost knocked ourselves down...ok not entirely...but we were about to almost...
Preceded by a gang of other black guys, this guy apologizes and tells me to go ahead of him that he was sorry miss...and I stepped out...na so, bros now decides that his "kindness" and "respect" were not sufficient and decides to whistle and utter some words alongside...oh kaaay...
Uhm...trust me now, I kept walking like I didn't hear a thing, meanwhile I was beginning to wonder why he thought that was very respectful of him and I must be blushing, or he must have made my day....ok, ok, I donno what he thought I was thinking but..yea...
I realized that to many people that is actually a compliment but to me, I don't want guys to embarrass me with comments like that not because there's anything wrong with a lady being sexy but please allow me to express my position in this world as an "individual", let my thoughts, reasonings, morals be voiced. Give me an opportunity to deserve being more than a piece of meat, with vital organs to give a man the pleasure that all men desire. Don't stare at me like a piece of meat, imagining all the nasty things you could do to this body. Its just disrespectful. Before I'm a female, I'm an individual. I'm an individual that should be complemented with words like beautiful (inside and out), not another wondering lady that can please you. If you think I'm sexy, think it only and stop there...have some tact and shut up, when you need to. Let my husband and all his desires overwhelm me with his thoughts of me, not a random stranger....
Anyways, that's just how I feel.
Back in the day, when guys thought a woman was sexy, they had the decency to tip their hats and smile, showing respect, appreciating beauty and commanding respect. These days, whatever jumps to the top of a guys head, is not filtered in any way but uttered, forgetting that not all girls are the same. Given, many girls would even twirl for you after you tell them how sexy you think they are, but not all...this just takes me to the softness of a womans heart. Once you feed her with embellished words, its easy for her to become yours, and before you know it, y'all have enjoyed yourselves, and you're on to the next. The girl would toughen up, like, "nutin do me", but she's bleeding somehow, somewhere and at the end of the road its a crap load of regrets...talk about a jonzing world.
So I was wondering, why do guys talk more when a lady is not replying them? Do they not get the point or...? I've observed this and I'm just curious. I understand that if you want a girl, you go after her with all it takes but, some girls actually mean shooo...I don't want you. My girl friend recently had her fone flooded with messages from a guy, she has no inkling of interest for and my guy kept on sending her absolutely unrelated messages, with no reply. He spoke about the day, his travel, etc, you would think my girl friends msgs were just blanked out cuz he actually held an extremely long convo with himself.
Is there a memo, saying have sex now or never. There's no rush, as beautiful as sex is, it's worth waiting for true love (after the deal is done ;))
Debate Question for you:
Is sex still the evidence of love or just a game for two?