Thursday, January 20, 2011

The 5 Love Languages


Hiya ladies and gent-oo-men,

I trust ur week has been awesome so far...mine has been really bumpy but that's besides the point for now.

On Sunday, I got one of my friends to buy me this book, "the 5 love languages" by Gary Chapman and I must say, "it is a must read", or in my case a "must hear". I got the audio since I knew I wouldn't have enough time to actually sit to read it.

Every now and then when I'm taking a break from my busy schedule, I hit play and believe me, wow!

Ok, lemme tone it down a lil bit before y'all buy the book and are like, this girl was exaggerating...well I do exaggerate a lot but I believe this exaggeration is very much deserved. I'd give u a quick run down of the book. (a synopsis)

The 5 love languages are:

1. Acts of Service

2. Gift Giving

3. Physical Touch

4. Quality Time

5. Words of Affirmation

In this book, Gary pretty much explains what the languages mean, further describes that there are different dialects of the same language, where it applies to, how knowing your partners love language can totally change your relationship...etc

I have discovered that my main love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service.

Quality Time: I would like "him" to spend time with me, focusing on what I have to say, what we're doing, not using his blackberry and talking to some other person, who quite frankly at that moment may not be having a very important discussion with him. I want to be his 100% focus. No side distractions, and him absolutely enjoying every minute of our activity and time spent. Sounds selfish but well that's one of the ways I know if he loves me. :p

Acts of Service: To me, helping me do things, running some of my errands for me to relieve me of some stress and give me more time to spend some quality time is a genuine language of love. Acts of Service removes the traditional, "a woman is meant to wash, cook, clean, feed the dog, lay the bed bla bla bla" label from my head, esp since we live in the western world. Eskuze me plix, I go to work, you go to work, I am not a machine! Jo oh. Truthfully any man who is interested in a wife that would do all house wife duties should please endeavour to purchase a ticket and go to the village because this chic is feeling to be a Proverbs 31 woman but with a full understanding that she is not a machine, it would be nice to help. (Fury level lowered, now smiling...) - that's how I know u love me. #kisses...lol

Is it too much to help with the laundry, car wash, mowing the lawn, dishes (once in a while)? is it?

Anywaiz, pick up the book, I promise u'd love it. It should make ur relationship better if u already have one and if u don't it would keep u prepared for the forth coming one.

nanyt me luvies

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Love in Eden

May your home become Eden
May your work become Eden
May your life become Eden
Amen.

We notice that when God created Adam, He placed him in the garden of Eden where all Adam needed/wanted was there. In Eden, God gave him authority, dominion, abundance, communion, convenience. I imagine it as a place where God was not even as far as a phone call.

As if God was not an ultimate blessing, he went further and gave him more love; Eve. With Eve came favour, support, partnership and more pleasures.

In short, Eden was the happening place. A place where everyone would have wanted to be in. There was no stress, life was easy, except for that foolish tree. Argh..I wish I could travel back in time and cut it down or beg God to keep it in Heaven...lol.

Well lets put the tree aside for now, the quality of love, God's original intention for love between a man and a woman was absolutely beautiful, giving them nothing to worry about, filling their lives with abundance and placing them with each other for the purpose of companionship and sexual expression.

On the flip side after they ate from the tree, they were banished from Eden, then they lost all their rights and privileges. (I mean, those were real rights and privileges, what can beat having "no worries"?) They began to run, hide etc.

side note: The imagination of them looking at themselves and saying, "ki re? (what is this?), I'm nakeed,....haaaaaa), still trips me...lol

My point here is each time we develop a relationship with whoever even if its not heading "spouse", but just developing a friendship, we should think of it as dwelling in love/care for the other person. We have a choice to eat the forbidden fruit or not. Its like in every relationship there's a "tree of the knowledge of good and evil". A lot of times, we are to quick to let things go sour, to quick to let the next person bounce on our nerves. For every time we let things go bad, we eat that fruit. This doesn't mean that there wouldn't be arguments in a relationship, but its the way that its handled that matters. Half the time, we're trying to change the next person, totally ignoring our own attitudes...how bout you just do you for a while, figure you out, change what you can't stand about urself b4 u start tryna fix the next person?

I want love in Eden, I want to dwell and bask in it.
I want to offer the other person a fruit that tastes even better with not negative after effects.
When I see that the serpent would not leave the tree, I want to grab the next person to run from the serpent. I don't want to stand there listening to the crap the serpent has to tell me...

In modern day terms, I want to do whatever it takes to make sure we're headed in the right direction and I'm loving you as God originally intended.

and to my spouse...(that is showing up in my life this year...whoop whoop)...
I want to be the originally intended Eve for you, turning away from all serpents, even scorpions, whatever it takes. I don't want to make the same mistake twice.


Stylish & Versatile Blog Award

Hiya me luvies,

Ha y'all doin?

I'm honored to have received an award esp. since for some odd reason, I just neva imagined getting any form of an award. (WRONG mentality, I know)...I was given this award by the one, the only, Bleeeeessiiiing lol. Thx babe.

I'm meant to tell y'all 7 things about myself and pay the award forward to 15 other bloggers.

Here goes:
the 7 things
1. I'm a sucker for love. I'm guessing y'all know that already...lol

2. I'm the true definition of restless but I'm working on that. I'm restless with style o, not gbe borun, gbe fila kinda restless. My type of restlessness is that I always like to keep busy, I hate not having anything to do when I want to do something which is most times. Other times, I really just want to be left alone with my bed, some "guilty pleasures" and a nice romantic comedy (chick flick) and I could do that for a whole day.

3. I just started eating African food 2/3 years ago, random but I'm very happy about that. lol
4. I can day dream, OH eM gEE...it is a serious sumting. I even day dream for others...lol

5. I once had a crush on someone I've neva met. I neva knew I could be that sorta chic. That was the birth of this blog (refer to my first post)...lol...idle minds meyn...they do things...lol

6. I have trouble picking out what to eat from a menu. Heck, I even have trouble deciding where to go eat...so u've probably guessed, I end up eating the same thing over and over again or picking out an expensive meal that tastes nasty.

Note: #DearFutureHubby you've gotta know what I'd like...pele, too many tasks already. Don't worry u would survive. I'd help u out a bit. lol

7. I hate roaches, spiders and all those crawly things but I put up a bold face and kill them.

bonus: I'm a cry baby but I don't show my weakness to people in public, only 3 ppl know that I can cry over many things. Talk about a soft interior and a turtle exterior. Oh yeah, y'all here prolly know that I can cry for Africa by now but u don't know me (as in wot I look like)...#baskinginthebeautyofblogsville...woohoo...lol. As much as I can shed tears, I can't cry for more than 15 mins maximum, till I fall asleep.

I hope I haven't bored u. knock, knock, still there?

Now to pay it forward.
Honestly u all deserve a stylish and versatile blog award but they say 15 so Imma start listing...in absolutely no order

1. Blessing

2. Kemi

3. Chi Chi

4. Blu

5. Jaycee

6. Matthew

7. Miss Fab

8. BSNC

9. Myne

10. Gee

11. Gospel Girl

12. Eve

13. Beautiful

14. Doll

15. His Treasure

woow...this paying it forward is some serious business. Now off to tell u that I've awarded u...#DearLordJesus, U are my strength...wow!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Happy New Year!!!!

Haappppppppppppppppyyy Newwwwwww Yeaaaaaaaaaaaar....I'm baaaaack...

May this year bring you an avalanche of breakthroughs, success, joy, peace and undeniable, unconditional love. Amen

sooo...

My peepo, how una dey?..
REPLY: We dey ooo, we dey..

lol

Well, well I have meant to blog for the longest time but haven't actually had the energy or rather the oomph to do it. I've been going through a lot lately but I thank God for God otherwise, I see a repugnant, defiant and incorrigible Me.

I was in Naij for the holiday and discovered a lotta things that tore me down emotionally, spiritually in every way sha but after a talk and a final prayer on the issue things turned around.

As you all know there was this guy that I supposedly fell in love with and for some reason I couldn't understand it, it was too soon and too rich (and I don't mean dollars...). I fought it for a while as I always do with every guy I find myself liking but it didn't go anywhere cause he liked me too which made it hard for me to ignore the emotional attraction.

In simple terms, I really really liked him and uhm...I probably still do. #coveringmyfaceinembarrassment

To me we clicked, clicked, clicked...but like I said previously he's an unbeliever which made it hard to hold a relationship. plus it would have been long distance and that's a really hard one.

Sha sha in all our falling for each other we never saw ourselves since 7 years ago when I really didn't even ever notice him but well yea...

On my way to Naij I finally got a chance to meet him...I'm sure you know how I felt. One phrase; "On cloud 9". Finally got to his state and because of a delayed flight I literally only got time to SEE him...lol, no chilling, nothing :(. Btw that day was his bday which made it extra special and the post service had co-operated and gotten his gift to him earlier on in the day even though they said it cuda been a week late.

Not to bore you with the intricate details...
the fling and moments in heaven are up.

Not that this guy is absolutely a saint or anything, he obviously has his faults etc...but then again don't we all right.

Before yall warn me not to date an unbeliever, we aren't dating esp for those reasons and now our relationship has gone really sour. #crying...ok I'm not really crying but it doesn't mean I didn't cry...lol

I can say that the sourness enabled me to get rid of other dudes quite easily. I just had absolutely no endurance for iranu (nonsense). I felt like I had spoken one, too many times and I just had to give my final speech. For some I went the extra mile...like deleting my facebook...lol...the msgs, pokes etc were just getting too much...ah ahn...

Can the real Mr. Right please stand up? wetin?

Each day I reminisce on things "he" did, said...his laff...ok, I'm prolly getting too creepy...enuff sincerity. Why did I have to get so sprung by the wrong guy.

So I didn't mention what happened that made it all go so bad...I can't. Lets just say our break-up from our "unofficial relationship" resulted from irreconcilable differences :(

Now all I really want is my heart back. When it does come back, I foresee myself holding sooooooo tight. Funny how I said this before I met this guy, but now I'm really serious though. Its like there's a back door these dudes take in that I'm yet to discover and its my heart, shouldn't I know the ins and outs? sheesh

Crossing over into the new year wasn't soo jolly for me cuz all this happened on the 30th and as you probably know me already, I grieved a lil...ok maybe a lot. I tried not to care soo much by sleeping a lot but it didn't work much. My chest was so tight and then I cudn't breathe and tada the waterworks on the 31st. Thankfully I never cry for more than 15mins. Then I take a loooong break, then start again...say 10hrs after.

Ok I'm done my year end true confessions...onto blog rounds.
I hope you all have a blessed new year and I look forward to a new and exciting year with you all. This is my year of blogging about how I found Mr. Right...whoop whoop!

#kisses my luvies.
H

p.s: In the interim, I'm trying to indulge in endless activities to take my mind off the beauty of my fling. I hope its a success.

One last confession: Its painfully hard! I really liked him #nowcrying #okbye

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