Sunday, July 3, 2011

Abuse

No one can ever love me as much as he loves me
He gives me reason to wake up each morning
I serve him, with all I have, with all I've got
Of everything that is me, I give it all to him
When he says jump, I shall because I'm sure it would be for my good....

Every scar has a story
Every ache is worth it,
It all happened because, I was foolish to go against his wishes.
He hit me that I might get my ducks in a row and obey

at this point, I must confess
I've lost all that makes me, me and given it all up for him
My very essence, has ceased
My every purpose is nullified


You are not a puppet, a slave, a toy, a punching bag....
Understand this now, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are God's pride, if he was boastful, he would boast of you day and night. You are beauty. He made you with much thought. He created you to have dominion over the earth, to rule other creatures, not for your kind (man or woman) to rule and subdue you. The moment you become less than you are worth, not out of humility but stupidity, STOP...think...rewind...adjust...take a new direction in the path of peace/joy/love and keep it moving.

I sound like it's easy to do, right? NO. It's not easy, the best things you do for yourself are the hardest things, but buckle up, talk to a friend, a true friend...there must be shoulders you can lean on, hands you can hold. No man is or should be an island.

No man/ absolutely no one is allowed to raise their hands to hit you...(you should not be found verbally abusing either provoking the cause) - I'm not pointing fingers, cuz truthfully, I have been quite provoking too, countless times. Abuse is abuse. Verbally or physically.

Today I found myself getting angry, raising my voice and almost totally losing it and I had to hit the brakes. I stopped all arrangements to head out for a party because honestly that behaviour needs to be dealt with, NOW!. It's shameful, lacks self-control and it's absolutely futile. Someone explained the effects of anger thus:

A young boy got so mad, he wanted to explode, his dad then told him to take some nails, go to the wall and drill in.
After a few minutes he said, "dad, I'm no longer mad"
Then his dad said, "ok, go and take the nails out"
He did...(without a nail remover btw)
Then returned to his dad...
Then his dad said fill in the wall and put the wall back together like it was before...
and he replied, "wow, that would take some time, plus he would have to repaint the entire wall because the other parts were old paint..."

Those holes are what we do when we get so mad and out of control...it takes so long to repair, the expression/negatives of anger then become a regret.

*****

We all fall short, we all fall prey, but what makes us wise is the effort to repair our wrongs..not just any effort but fruitful efforts...it's not wrong to get mad but the mess we produce from our anger is.

Many have controlled it, we can set it under control too.

Please read these two posts on Blessings Outlet and Unveiling Gold. It's on their personal experiences with abuse. Victors of abuse ought to be celebrated. It's not a call for a pity party. Read and be blessed.

If you're in the midst of such and you feel you deserve it, I hope someday you'd realize that there's greater love and peace for you in Christ. Many don't understand the love of God till they experience it first hand. Countless times it takes him pulling you our of a messed up mess for you to get it, I've been messy and he has pulled me out, that's why I get it and I'm not turning back.

I love you.
muuuaaah!

14 CrushTHOTs:

Gbemisoke said...

I love the nails driven into walls illustration.
Very apt.
I'm happy people are speaking up more, cos silence has made abuse thrive. Off to read the posts you recommended.
xxx

Blessing said...

Wow this is so DEEP!

Thanks and God bless *hug*

@ilola said...

......

Obehi Okoawo said...

So so inspiring, I pray all those who are victims of this abuse both verbal and physical will have access to this sort of information, one way or the other, because of a truth no body deserves Abuse. May God see them all through.

Very inspiring post I must confess! both verbal and physical will have access to this sort of information, one way or the other, because of a truth no body deserves Abuse. May God see them all through.

Very inspiring post I must confess!

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

spousal abuse is just sooo evil. Off to read blesings blog, I saw Unvieling gold's post and I think she's a brave one

lovelife4sale said...

wow, i almost thot it was you who was being abused.... phewww, after reading it, i realized, you were basically the abusor...(yup i make up new words on peoples blog comments). just count down from 10 and if by count 4 it hasnt worked, i say, punch the wall.....
hmmmm, i seem not to be helping with my advice, but if it helps, just know im here to listen and to read. :)

MsJB said...

That "driving nail into the wall" illustration is the best ever. That's just exactly what it is. When you're angry, you do things that will always take a lot of efforts and pain to repair and most importantly, full of regrets.

H said...

@Gbemi, thx for dropping by.

@Blessing, big hug

@@tilola, lol...?????

@Obehi, thx.

@Sisi, totally...disturbing as well.

@lovelife, lol, u're just sum'n else...yea, I know u're always there..

@MsJB, very true. the repair puts you in an awkwardly painful position, u end up regretting ur anger.

Giagerry said...

LoL @ilola, na "......" she come here write ehn? tehehehe

N.I.L (Naijamum in London) said...

mmm...Inspiring post
Sadly, most abused women are the first to defend their abuser i.e. 'I pushed him' OR 'He was tired' OR 'He has a temper' OR 'He is stressed from work'

Until the abused believes s/he is worth more; the abuse will continue
xoxox

Laurenta said...

wow!
this post is so apt,
considering whats going on right now around the world, many women an (men) are undergoing physical and verbal abuse and keeping quiet about it because of shame.
its so sad, people are scared of the ones inflicting the abuse and some are just plain ashamed to admit that the perfect relationship isnt exactly perfect.
I love the part where you said if God was boastful he wuld boast about us daily

BSNC said...

I enjoyed this post, i also read blessing's post. May God give people the strength to leave this type of voilent.

H said...

lol @Gee, na so oh...lol

@N.I.L, yea, the foolish excuses, that's just the worst part.

@Laurenta, the crippling fear is just sad, it ought to be addressed.
re:boast, thx

@BSNC, thx. Amen and Amen to that.

Anonymous said...

haha babe abeg free me and my shikena alone jor.


bsnc

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