Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Horror of saying NO #fromthemouthofadramaqueen

The week went by fast and although sometimes I felt the clock just wasn't ticking fast actually flew by, all in all...

I'd start by giving a little insight into my past week's experience and then move on to the topic for today, hopefully I stay focussed.

It has been a while since someone has outrightly asked me for my number after very few short random, very random conversations. Of recent, it has just been talk, then "would you come over to...let's hang..." or maybe after a looong while can I get your pin or just random #DM's on twitter...

...but this week two guys asked me for my number, one I said NO, lol...n I didn't feel bad. To the other, I felt so bad, my mum had to tell me to toughen up jo...

So here's what happened, (don't worry, I wouldn't give too much deets so I don't bore you)...
This dude and I have randomly spoken, here and there...for me it was no biggy...I mean I didn't think he'd be interested in me the slightest bit.

A while back, I saw his age, which was 3 years younger and I'm just not the type that goes for younger guys....yea, yea, yea.."age is just a number"...but I have a preference of 2 - 5 years older.

Anywaiz, I ruled him out of my mind subconsciously, not that I even liked him in any way so there wasn't anything to rule out, he was just there. Earlier in the week, I noticed he had cleaned up, cut his hair and trust me now, I made a convo out of that. Only God knows who sent me. As we were talking, I mentioned that there are 2 possible reasons why he got that makeover:

1. He had a job interview or,
2. His girlfriend told him to.

Apparently, I had just dug a pit for myself. Who knew the kid liked me? I was just yapping sincere thots there. As he was explaining, he paused to say, btw I don't have a gf. Where were my "boy likes you" antennas? I'm thinking it's an overdose of keeping my heart under lock and key that made me oblivious.

The next day now, the kid walks in from the wrong entrance, which is my work place. How do I know it's the wrong entrance? He works at the opposite far end and it was likely that his shift started at 10am, so he came in a lil earlier so afterwards he could make the long journey down to his end. Well well, I notice him and I'm sittin' there bz wondering why he's walking in here, he was here yday but I didn't think it was much of a big deal.

Then he gets to me and starts rambling, for a moment there I was lost, I didn't get a word he was saying. Luckily I picked up the last few lines, "I don't normally do this but I was hoping we could exchange numbers".

Oh no! I felt soo bad. In my mind, I thot this boy, "why?" he just single handedly ruined our cordial relationship, becuz things are going to get awkward.

Home girl, replies, "aww, I'm sorry, NO" (I felt awful), and the cherry on the cake...."that's sweet tho" (what a horrible attempt to make things better)...the kid smiled there for a minute and said, "ok", or so, truthfully I don't remember but it was bye-bye to me.

For a few moments there, I thot of better ways to reply him cuz I didn't want him to feel horrible, silly and I decided to add, "that's sweet tho", IMAGINE THAT!.


My baby's one on April 8th and there's going to be a giveaway. Yes, a party I'm thinking there's going to be two rounds to the competition if there's a tie.

Starting now, the first follower to bring 5 new followers to my blog by April 8th gets one of four things.

OR, 2. Scarlet Thread or Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers

When you get the 5 followers, they are to comment on a post that they like and at the end of the post, type in, sent by Jane/John Doe, so I can ur keep count.

Unfortunately gifts one and two are open to Canadian and U.S residents only. Sorry :(

Let the games begin....


When you try to change someone so much that they begin to become what you created, can you truly say that you love the person?

Lemme get more explicit...

I met Mr. X at a bar 3 years ago and I found out we had so much in common, gradually we developed mutual feelings, the more we hung out. As time went on I started noticing things in him that I'm not sure I can tolerate if we were to get married. Subconsciously, I started training him accordingly and I'm guessing unknowingly to him he started to shape up A-corrDingLy...but one day I got so carried away with the new man I was creating that I slowly fell out of love with Mr. X himself but instead with my clone, Mr. XY.

One day, it seemed like Mr. X woke up from a deep trance and decided to pack his bags and leave. I sat there questioning his drastic decision as I thought things were going great and to my surprise his exit speech ended with, "u stopped loving ME", meanwhile I thot I was giving him all the love any man could hope for.

For a long while I pondered on this, until I realized that he was totally right...I got so carried away with creating the man I want, I forgot to love the man I had.

As you know, I'm a lady of very few Imma make this brief, as this post has become longer than I expected.

Loving a person should be loving them in all their flaws and weaknesses, that we do not forget to grow together correcting those flaws and strengthening those weaknesses and we do not get carried away by the exercise of perfecting our imperfections. It should involve that with every milestone of growth/perfection we are grateful for ourselves and stronger to make it through.

To love is to complement, not to complete.
Complete urself and I'd complement u. Two become one, not halves become one.

Let's not get carried away by the struggle to create a perfect man/woman when we find the "right man/woman", because that focus diminishes what we have or what we could have had.

Have a beautiful weekend darlyns...

p.s: I came across this post by BBB, earlier this week and I promised to share, enjoy!!

6 CrushTHOTs:

Blessing said...

"Two become one, not halves become one."

Preach it!!!

Nice giveaways!!!

Awwwwwww for the guy...I feel bad 4 him...he probably stayed up all night trying to find out how he would ask for ur digits....well im glad u said no....time is 2 precious 2 be wasted

Omoregee said...

Lol! Poor guy....saying NO can sometimes be akward.

'To love is to complement, not to complete.
Complete urself and I'd complement u. Two become one, not halves become one.'

Hmmnmnn.....I'm still thinking.....

H said...

@Omoregee...what r u thinking about? lol...Ok, let's see if I can be a little more explicit. First, only love has the power to defy matthematics...1 + 1 is 2 not 1, but when true love exists 1 + 1 = 1.

Ok, enuff of that. Many people are sold on the idea that "you complete me", so they're not really working on themselve but waiting for someone to complete them. Imma walk into your life to make whatever you have better, sharper. Its like the icing on the cake. The cake is whole (complete) but my icing makes it better. Cake with no icing is fyne, but cake with no flour is incomplete. Sho grab?

Anywaiz the point is that we ought to function as a whole not as a half to fall in love. A selfish, lazy, greedy man needs to work on a few things to be loved, someone might be infatuated by him but least likely, luvd. He is in other words sorta incomplete...A selfish man loves himself...he doesn't defy math, its 1 + 0 = 1 for him...I think I'm confusing u some get hope I sorta gave u an idea.

Then again, it depends on how u look at it. Some people would disagree that a cupcake isn't complete without the icing so I gess in that case u can say u complete me...:s

Omoregee said...

H, mo grab jare, lol....I got u the first time....just wanted to wrap my hand around the thot. Indeed, you are right, I wouldn't be looking to be with a man who hasn't taken time to work on himself like I av. It is true that the popular saying usually is, 'baby, u complete me'.....'u make me whole'...without u, i'm incomplete'.....awwww, doesnt it sound kinda romantic?

I agree with u......completion should be in n from Christ n not from ur significant other......nice one!!!

forbidn2us said...

can i just get the gift card without the whole "bringing followers to your blog"???? pretty please, :) plus i dont even have that many followers to send to you anyways. haha. so imagine, if we were ever to get into a blog marriage and we divorced, you would actually be the person who would have to split your followers and give me half of them. (lol, i know im a dork, you dont need to tell me).

Hannah said...

best get ur 2 followers

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