Saturday, November 27, 2010

Guard Your Heart

Without God, I'd be a fully fledged emotional wreck right now. Emotional roller coasters and I don't function well at all, at all so I make every effort to avoid them. After the "coaster has rolled" once or twice, I re-evaluate and end!

I am in awe of how much I can't do without God, He really helps me through all the mess I find myself in. I question how I got there, why I am there sometimes but I know the Lord has a very clear picture of what He's up to even though I don't get it and I am proud to put all my eggs in this one basket (God).

So here's the koko of the matter, when two people aren't reading the same chapter, yet alone the same book, just stop reading all together and listen to what God is telling you. Obedience to the voice of God and just chilling to see what he has planned and why he brought you to this dark, unpleasant valley, I find is the perfect answer. I've noticed that every time something isn't working out too well and I pray about it, the Lord always, always without fail gives me a sign/word. His word is true when he says;

Isaiah 43:2: When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

My word this time was "obey", I heard it too many times I can't even fake and ask, "I'm sorry Lord, did you say something?"

Although sometimes I feel like I'm alone, I never really am. Its those times when I get a little too relaxed.

Well I got myself into a minor heart ache which isn't exactly that grave but it did cause a little bleed. The weirdest thing is I get the guys' angle but we're just not in the same triangle at all. Funny how we've had to break a relationship that was never even lol now but Imma cry

*he's the cutest ever btw*, but it is not cute I'm going to chop now

Proverbs 4:23 talks about guarding one's heart, which is what I've been doing o...jejely doing, until this dude dropped by my bbm. I was busy chatting on a friendly the chatting was going and found out that after a month, feelings knocked...I was like, heck no...u can't stay so I told the dude we can't vibe on the same p and he didn't get it but he agreed. Say bout a week later we started talkin again..."just friends" n well u prolly know the rest of the story until recently we broke up our non-existent relationship...but I would say this..."there's something about this dude"....don't ask me what it is cause I donno, hence the messy mess I find myself in.

3 - 4 years into the future, I'm sure I'd know what it is, but for now God is my priority (infact and always) and anything that seems or is off track just can't remain...

Nightey Nite

Saturday, November 20, 2010 is a weddin'

I've been away for so!
U know I've missed u so I wouldn't say it again cuz I'm guessing its becoming redundant. I was just about to update when I looked through my 'post area' (ok, I donno what its called but the place where I go to write and edit my posts)...I have so many unfinished ones...I hope to post soon. Somehow new ideas/issues/events keep coming up, that I can't keep up with myself.

Today alone, I have 3 things I'd like to talk about but I doubt I'd get around to all of them. friend is getting in this one is 'my friend' as in age group, pals, pals...not someone I know or went to school with but my friend.

The night b4 I had been talkin to this guy that I like so I went to bed pretty I woke up to a picture on my blackberry group with all my was a picture of a finger and an engagement ring.

My comment
: "I hope u're not messing with me cuz my heart is too sensitive for all of this"

(well she fools around a lot, and I mean engagement?'s a big deal!)

2 days or so ago...she said, "ladies, I'm heading to Paris with my boo...I'd send you a picture kissing the eiffel tower" us now...we were like na wa o...this is sum serious sturvins o n me (this love is rich o...I'm envious)...

Well we wished her a safe journey n I traded in my picture of eiffel tower for a gucci #sidecomment

A proposal did not cross any of our minds, we just thought it was her regular tripping around the world as always only to wake up to such joyous news. We all basically did nothing but get over excited for the next 3 hours. Thankfully I didn't have work till late yesterday.

Oh guys, have u tried the new totally rocks. You can actually video chat with all your friends from different parts of the world. Well not all your friends but we could all video chat...AWESSSOOOME...So 7 of us had an appointment last night but guess who showed up...the 'unengaged 6' was the bride to be? nowhere to be found and although we laughed n goofed around; just the 6 of us...we re-scheduled for today only to be stood up again by our bride...

But I'm not mad jo...she's in Paris...let her 'oui, oui and merci' with her boo jare...or might I say, fiance...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....'my friend is getting married, my friend is getting married' (repeat)

We've daydreamt up till after the wedding on her me we got completely overwhelmed n somewhat insane...(of course we're sane!)

Thankfully, in all of this, we didn't get too carried away...we're on our praying and fasting p...cuz u know good news travels fast and honestly not everyone is too happy about someone else's good news. Also, marriage is a big deal, we need to be sure that this is truly who the Lord has chosen...

I really am not ready for marriage at all...but every time I say this...Happy Feet asks, "who said u're not ready? who says when u r ready? u or God?" His time is always the best and he always, always knows what's best...

Who knows, I mite be here next year telling y'all, "HE PROPOSED"...(first I have to find know)

...back to real life...:)
'twas fun chattin'

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

...when the time finally came...

guys guys guys...they're just too adorable.

The same guys that would be forming for you when you talk bout marriage...the ones that'll be doing I wouldn't marry till 40, when I'm set and ready...(a lot either don't realise or don't know that the woman is their back bone...this doesn't mean the dude is weak it just means a woman makes u stronger and wiser...the bible mentions finding a woman as finding a good also talks about obtaining favour from the Lord, the further u push her away becuz of sum idea of not being set...the longer u push favour and a good thing away...obviously this doesn't mean one should rush into marriage but sometimes you really don't need to wait till you have a mansion till u agree to settle...most great men are great becuz of their wives)

Anywaiz as I was sayn b4 I got somewhat off topic...the same guy that would be forming I'm the man and whatever I say goes, or no one can tell me what to do...bla bla bla is the same dude u'd see who fell madly in luv with sum lady...

I mean its like they just never imagine that the day would come or that there's that one special girl out there that would make a difference in their lives....its weird!

Watching a man with so much "mouth" and ego transform as a result of that 'one' girl is truly one of the funniest things and yet one of the most beautiful too...

Yesterday at the bank, this dude who works at another one of our branches walks in and asks for $2400 in we start talking n I begin to "not-mind-my-business" (which is really part of my job description), I realize how nervous he is and well he actually says it...going on to explain that he's never carried so much cash in his hand with the intention of spending it all, right away...sounded like he was spending it all in one me and my marriage antennas now...

I'm like its a big gift eh?
He goes, "yes"
then I'm like "for a girl"
He goes, "yes"

by this time our smiles are gradually expanding and trust oyinbo naa...I cuda sworn he was getting a lil red...

then I'm like, "u're proposing?" (or well sum'n along those lines)
He's like, "yes"
and I'm about to scream...but I find myself aww-ing...@ least I think that's what I did...I was soo excited for him and I honestly can't remember exactly what went down after that...but I remember saying "congrats" (with almost tears in my eyes...he was def excited but freaking out at the same time)

LOOL...I blushed so hard...
Whats with me and marriage sef...its not like I'm ready or anything...I think I'm wired that

In short sha, my point is the way a woman makes a dude all nervous and cute is beyond my understanding...all I know is "I cut cap for Baba God"...He's too much! (simply and insufficiently put)

As in after the dude has made all the mouth in the world...n in his mind been the toughest thing to walk the surface of the earth..this girl just bumps into him at the grocery store or say, they met thru a friend, twas a blind date or she hated him @ first...whateva be the case they met, n now...he's a whole different John/Akambi/Musa or

Being nervous around a person must be an element of luv (it shows that that person isn't just anybody)


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Thank You raised to power 500

Dear Blogsville,

I'm so thankful for what you guys have done for me in the past 24 hours. It may not have meant as much to you but it has meant too much to me. I believe in the power of praise and prayer but express recovery, as in I mean in less than 24 is too much.

Funny story:
So I had work @ 8am this morning but what did I do? I slept late last was Happy Feets' bday so we went out, then came home and gisted like work was cancelled.

Well, I woke up at 6am and saw Matthews comment on my previous post (he's on there as disgodkidd), so I began my recurring Amens, and then decided to say a prayer...

hmmm....this prayer ehn...

I slept like no mans biz n woke up about 45 mins to work time. Bear in mind, I don't have a car, it takes me bout an hour to get to work and I hadn't showered. The sorta magic that was required of me ehn...Thankfully one of my friends who had kept me up the night before woke up at 6am and he couldn't sleep so...there was my ride...

Of course I got to work 2 mins late, even after all my James Bond movements but its all good. (It was only 2 mins, thankfully)

As I said in a reply to one of the comments, if I'm not speaking, I'm praying or praising. For the past week, I've trained my lips to praise, regardless of wassup, and with your say that I'm the same way I was last night would be a big lie.

The troubles, the pains, the worries of yday, in short, everything that bothered me is still in place, but the joy, peace and motivation I feel right now can only be God. If I were to list my problems, the "unbelieving Joe" would ask what the smiles are for. I can't explain it. I feel the joy of gratitude, where even the little things are worthy of thanks, the mere fact that I'm well, my family is well and loads more is cause for rejoicing. There is peace in knowing that it would all be well. Unlike yday, the violence of this storm doesn't phase me. I don't see the provision for things but I see and I am certain that there would be provision. Whatever I explain to you today is an extreme understatement of how I feel.

In few words, I feel my burden lifted and truly Braids, the Lord is near the broken hearted and the crushed in spirit. I'm thankful for you all who prayed for me, its a relief to feel much lighter weight. Standing in the gap for me in my weakness is one of the greatest gifts you could give me...another would be coming to my wedding, well if I decide to reveal myself...:D, if I do, I'd send an invite to you, hopefully your blogs are still active then...
Whatever you sow, you reap...ur good deed would not go unrewarded...

God Bless


p.s: btw, I think I might officially want a boob tube dress...that's all about my wedding I'm sorta certain about...u know wot? I don't even think I'm certain about it but I am really feeling the idea...

Ooh Ooh and I don't want a silver ring. It has to be gold with stones...n no big diamond in the middle, just different stones which could include diamonds...:D

Ok, I think I'm done with the wedding bug for the evening...weird eh?...I Heaven knows why I even think about this ever, cuz really the dude no dey show face sef...when he does eventually come around...Imma give him a slap and ask, "where the heck have you been?"

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Bear ME Up!

Dear Blogsville,

This is not exactly a post but a letter to you. I need a huge favour. Please bear me up in your prayers, I need as much as I can get right now and fo sure, fo sure, Imma update y'all when the time is right.

In so many areas, I'm left speechless
In unexpected areas, I'm extremely helpless
My current weariness feels dramatic but unfortunately, its so reaal!

You know those road blocks we hit every now and then...yea...I just hit a big one...everything is all hazzy...but it'll all be well, right?

Hope and confidence keep me going. I know Jer. 29:11 would definitely fully manifest in my life but to say that I'm not moved by my current standing, feelings, trials, pains and struggles would be a lie.

Its times like these that I'm even more thankful for people like you, (+ my family and friends). Today, I had to remind my mum to pray for me...obviously, she replied, "...but I always pray for you" and then I said, I need you to pray more cuz I very well am in dire need of express answers...I know he expressly states that we would go thru the fire and pass thru the storms but I need more help to handle all this...a lot more...I know He would be my strength in my weakness...well I need more strength...

I keep asking why I'm here and why this and that are happening to'm not too sure I can handle all the weight on my shoulders and yes...I know he bears my burden but sometimes, my heart aches based on the reality of the things I can see, and quite frankly sometimes I fear (fully understanding that fear and faith cannot co-exist...hence the need for you). Obviously He's bailed me out one million times but when we go through the storms, sometimes its so dark and violent we can hardly see what is ahead we can only hope that the end of the storm is bright...

In short, all my grammer aside. I'm really weak right now and I need you to help pull me through. I hope I don't sound too dramatic...(normally I would lol here but I'm not in a loling mood, I really wanna put a smiley too but I'm not in a smiley mood either)

Thx a lot
(but I don't mind sending you all these hugs and kisses)


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