Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bridal Shower

Wow...talk about a fun weekend.
A brief dload of how the day went. I had been called for an interview the day before meanwhile I had been asked to be the MC of the event as well as the decorator. As life would have it, I found myself rushing throughout the entire day.
My interview was @ 3pm btw
11am getting ready, ironing my clothes...
1pm rushing to get more decorations as I had been told that our stock wasn't enough. Got to the decor store only to find NOTHING that matched the theme that we didn't already have, (cutting the story a little shorter) decorated...in minutes as I really didn't have much to do (most of it had already been handled), got home found that my blouse wasn't ironed well enough. Rushed through a stop light NOT on purpose, had my interview, ran out of gas; didn't have any money, attempted to use my savings account but used my chequings instead, which put me in overdraft with interest fees n all #prettypissed.

then HOME...finally...@4:10p
Bridal shower was to start at 4pm. Rushed...and as u probably would have guessed my very faithful Nigerians...were l8. We kicked it off around 6pm.

Now on to the main, the main, the BRIDAL SHOWER...
For the most part it was all fun and games. We played games such as hot potato, music video, quizes bout the groom answered by the bride, making a wedding dress, etc etc...

Here's what I really gained from the shower...
We had 2 sets of mothers come in to give the bride advice on marriage. The reason I say 2 sets of mothers is because they came at different times and the first set left before the second set arrived. They were in groups of 3. They had one statement in common; "Marriage is an institution, u're constantly learning". The second set of women were of a younger generation, which is what made them so interesting and down to earth.

The first set pretty much gave advice on what to do and when...it was very insightful but I must say the second set of women took it to another level.

After reiterating most of what, if not all the first set of mothers had said...they added more, which was more like..."ok, lets get down to bidness..."

The most salient points which I had planned on sharing with you all are based on Food, Sex and Respect

FOOD
"A hungry man is an angry man". It is therefore no surprise that food was their first point of discussion. If you cannot prepare good food for ur hubby or at least ensure that he is always well fed, u may have a problem. For ladies, cooking is vital. Personally I don't want a help making food for my hubby. It has to be made by me and if I cannot make certain things I am more than willing to learn. Infact, I'd go to culinary school, Le Cordon Bleu...if thats wot it takes...lol. The beauty of making new dishes is that u keep him in suspense and he always can't wait to come home (no need to "work l8"...lol...jks...none of us would have men that want to "work l8" in JESUS NAME). In the course of this discussion another mother added that if ur food is good u can get certain things out of ur man that u probably may not be able to under normal circumstances (lol..women, we have our ways don't we?). Before u have discussions with him, ensure that he is fed...this creates a receptive heart and mind.

After u're done...
the next best meal for a guy is SEX. Even the bible says not to starve ur hubby of sex. Bear in mind these are Christian mothers...so their values are of high quality and teachings worth listening to. What amused me a bit was when one of our mothers mentioned her code...she called it triple A, which meant ANYWHERE, ANYHOW and ANYTIME...lol..
Another added that a WIFE [this is not for any tom dick and harry...I said WIFE (no messing around with random guys...sex was made for husbands and wives)] should ensure that she smells good, she's always dressed well (never let go of urself even when u're married...its a ridiculous wedding aftermath)...she should try to change the arrangement of things in the room so every now and then he is welcomed to a new environment (somewhat :/)...there was more but this should be enough for y'all...lool

RESPECT (Ephesians 5:33) Wot's the point pretending that ur man has no ego when all men do. It was made clear that a wife should feed their egos. One of the women mentioned that she respects her husband so much that people tease her asking, whether she's the only one that ever had a husband...She calls him "OLOWO ORI MI"...#yoruba. Another mentioned that u feed their egos by giving them ideas on how things should be done and making them feel like they did it...lol...what a trick but I'm so sure it works...she also said that when u're out with other folk, discussing stuff and the best suggestion just happens to be urs, if u deem it fit, say that he came up with it...(he'd know he didn't and appreciate u more for it)...certain times wen u get gifts for the kids, say "daddy got it". This all adds to the basic respect of not insulting him or speaking back to him in public. Respect is the icing on the cake that creates a man that would do anything for you.

H

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

...then he cries

When a guy cries occasionally does it mean he is "in touch with his emotions" and "in tune with your feelings" or is he just plain soft?

Some girls like it when a guy cries; we hear things like "awww", "how sweet?", "I like a guy who doesn't pose", etc etc. On the other hand, some say "he's just a sissy", "abeg o, I don't like a dude that cries", "hold urself jo", "u no get shame?"...and again etc etc.

Anywaiz, personally I'm not a big fan of a cry baby...I like a guy who can breakdown on ur shoulder or laps when things are really terrible, when it seems like there's no where to turn and God is taking a minute. He's just gotta be tough and "in touch", if you know what I mean. He's allowed to cry, I mean he's human and all but not every time (something a girl would cry for u cry too...)

I'm not saying a dude that fronts is cool o...if u feel it, u feel it...(it here being the need) but a guy is meant to be a CHESTER...@ the same time he should be real with me 24/7 for the rest of our lives. I guess what I'm saying is, a guy who knows when he is "allowed" to cry is what I want.

---

THE AISLE: When the groom sees his bride walking down the aisle, he's mos def allowed to cry if he feels the need to. Some folk think its completely absurd, as in what's the point? why should you cry (or rather shed "a" tear)?
My argument is always: You def donno what the couple went through to get to where they are. The dude probably thought he would never get the girl of his dreams, cause believe it or not true love is so highly esteemed that sometimes it may be hard for you to believe you actually got it. He could be thinking...wait a minute, "I couldn't believe she said yes to start with and now, we are actually going through with it...she's going to be my wife? whoah...this is surreal"...Its finally happening.

On to the father of the bride, tears from an old man seeing his baby grow up. Walking her down the aisle, knowing you've brought her this far and now its time to hand her over and more or less let her go. I know we say u're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son but uhm...u're kinda doing both if u ask me. Ur daughter is not going to look to u for everything as she use to...no more reporting her actions to u...the little things that exist in a father-daughter relationship are kinda taken from u once they both say "I do". So based on this note the father is kinda losing a daughter but still keeping her and gaining a son, if u know what I mean. Man or not. He is allowed to cry as it usually would have been a long journey training the bride.

H
ps:Finally changed my name :)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Whole Wheat Pasta and Brocolli

Based on research, after a terrible food experience I have decided to blog about food in relation to him & her. Infact I have been coerced to blog about it because I am bitterly upset that I have had to go through "a never to be repeated meal experience" in an effort to lose weight. This is what an effort to lose 10 pounds can do to you.

Please bear in mind that I did consult Bubbles and Vocal Slender before I decided to put myself through this 'never to be repeated' phase. I sincerely asked them if there was a difference in taste, to which they replied NO...(had I known I would have googled my question instead...sources claim that there is a slightly different taste, of which I have objections, as there is a SIGNIFICANTLY different taste)...

Conversely, Happy Feet had previously disagreed with VS and Bubz but I ignored her...I mean majority rules right. She claimed it tasted like cardboard but I didn't listen. Now I have to pay for it...

LOL.
OK, I know I'm being overly dramatic but anywaiz to cut the long story short (lol, I think thats the long story I just told u), I officially do not like Whole Wheat Pasta and Brocolli (which is my #1 most hated food ever).

U're probably wondering what that has to do with this blog...
Lemme explain, in the course of my 20 sum'n years I have thought about cooking for my hubby once or twice...
oo
ok, ok, more than once or twice...I have also been asked; "what would ur hubby eat if u donno how to make amala"...Can u imagine? as if amala is the only food in the world. If all works well sef, he would not like amala in Jesus name...LOL.

Anywaiz, the thought that got me thinking of this post is the fact that he could actually like the food I hate like Whole Wheat Pasta and Brocolli...I mean really guys think about it. I'd have to cook all of these foods I hate the most and it may just so happen that my babies would "inherit" his taste buds...(God no please, please I don't think I like the sound of that or more like the smell of that...making sardine sandwiches and pawpaw juice etc etc)
I'm just exaggerating, but seriously though...it would mean that when we go out we can't order different dishes so I could taste out of his because his would be...uhmmm...

I love to cook and all but it would also mean that I may have to always make two dishes. 6 dishes a day...NO NO...NO

#foodforthought....lol literally food for thought...hahaha...(this is what whole wheat pasta can do to you...I guess!?!), its like I'm high on pasta or sum'n...

Yours Truly

btw I'm thinking of changing my name...still thinking about it :)

its another level o...'the proposal'

I've heard a lot of "I'm getting married" without actually hearing the proposal story. Its so weird cause these brides are not actually hiding any story...there just wasn't any proposal...LOL

Singles are taking it to a whole new level...there doesn't have to be a proposal for there to be a wedding. A few minutes ago, I was watching 'Rich Bride, Poor Bride', when the guy said he never even proposed but his wifey went along planned the wedding and basically told him that they were getting married that weekend...I could have laughed my head off...

This doesn't necessarily mean that the marriage wouldn't last long...cuz this couple apparently have been married for 25 years...Can u imagine that? I guess when u know the guy/girl is urs, u just get on board and do what u gotta do...no need for traditional proposals...thats all old skool

In that sense, I am proud to say that I am old skool
No proposal, no wedding.

I have also wondered about promise rings,
when a girl is given a promise ring does it mean that the guy promises not to cheat on her or is it more or less and engagement ring in some weird way...a guy basically marking his territory and promising her that he would marry her?

Yours Truly

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Snoop - Dogg

Something suspicious is going on...I can feel it...looks like, I c it but uhm...am I just being insecure?
He's bringing home more flowers than usual
Staying out even later than normal
Smells like he didn't even sweat he entire day in this hot weather...

I'm telling ya...something ain't rite.

If u felt like this ever, would u snoop around, confront him or let it go? This might be a tough one eh? I mean every muscle in your body tells you sum'n is soo not right and u're doing "I trust him" all over the place. I'd share 3 personal stories with you, all with different reactions.

Story, Story, Story!
Story 1: She knew he was cheating on her, never confronted him, she knew who with and all but still no confronting anyone...some would say she was such a dumb-dumb but what kept her through were one; her vows - for better or for worse and till death do us part not till a shameless woman do us part. She showed him more love than ever before despite the fact that he pushed her away. She cared and performed ALL wifely duties, despite the fact that she knew where he was when 'he was working late'. Ok, u're probably thinking so..."would she do this for the rest of her life?, no confrontation, nothing, just behaving like a swegbe?(yoruba)". She attacked this issue with prayers/fasting and the like and today....

*happily ever after* (ok, I donno wot happened after cause I just couldn't ask and I've been away for too long but I know God never fails, so its happily ever after...and I know if he has recovered from complete immaturity and indiscipline, he probably regrets his mess)

Story 2: This lady knew her hubby was messed up but she didn't quite know how much of a mess, he mistreated her in any and every way. There was no time/energy to even snoop around...He spent majority of the year away from her until...well it was over. No snooping, all trusting and well then what...a 'no more marriage'...I hope u don't think its perfect to snoop and not trust because of this story...what you probably didn't notice is that they never said a word of prayer either individually or together. God was absent and remember what I told you about that triangle. God just gotta be there...I'm tellin u now o...LOL

Story 3: Same as story 2 actually...except that the daughter had a dream of daddy leaving them to start a new family. pretty messed up eh?

Personally, I've learnt to communicate more, share more, love more, not 'OVER' trust, no snooping, ask in subtle ways if you feel sum'n ain't right:-"Is everything alright, u're being a little distant...is work stressing you out?", make suggestions like "lets get-away this weekend" (with this, if u're good I find that he'd probably realize how important u are to him and why whatever else is bothering him or using him is just not worth it with you around)...etc etc.

and most of all DON'T EVER STOP PRAYING. God answers.
Pray together at least once a day, no matter what.

Sleep TIGHT amigos
Yours Truly

First Thought ===> Marriage Destination

Do you trust your first impressions about people. Ok, lemme explain what I mean. When you meet someone do you write him or her off completely or does he/she still have a chance?

Every now and then we meet so many people, especially if you're in a place like Naij. In a place like ....., where I am, before you meet a new person, make a new friend, mingle ehn...u go sweat, the kinda sweat that would soak even your jeans...lol. Ok, I'm just playing, just wanted to give you an idea of the mingling/social state of....., truth be told, I'm in the desert...lol...there's no one here...In short...I meet like 1 new person a month and thats just me being generous with my stats.

You're probably thinking, whats the gist with this meeting people thing, cause I've over-emphasized my point...(which wasn't exactly necessary, guess I just got a little carried away, lol)

Happy Feet, Bubbles and I were watching a few videos online and we came across this one http://vimeo.com/7882666 and it got me thinking...

What if you've already met your hubby? what if your hubby is your greatest enemy as of now, or that dude/babe u always deep down in ur heart thought was ugly and not ur type(yeah, I know enemy/ugly are way too intense words, but I frankly couldn't think of anything else to drive my point)

...so as I was saying...what if?

Based on my current 'friend/acquaintance pool', I don't think I'm ready to embrace that possibility or probability of the fact that my hubby and I have gisted before, as in we've probably already hung out but I just haven't thought of him in that manner. In relation to the video above, the bride did not like her groom at first, she thought he was too proud, etc, etc...Isn't it weird how the flaws that exist in a man become unimportant to you when you love him. Personally I think that there's this switch in heaven that God switches on at a certain stage in life that enables you to love your once 'before enemy' [yes, that's a grammatical blunder but oh well, thank God this is not an essay for Mrs. Adi*****, its my blog, yay :)] LOL about that switch, I'm just being silly but that's kinda how it feels.

I mean think about it; the dude you've dissed with your friend ends up being ur hubby, I must say, God is a comedian, no be small.

WAIT, wait...It gets funnier, when your friend decides to give a toast on your wedding day which includes all the silly/bad things you said about the guy/babe prior to your 'love is blind moment' in his/her speech. (talk about embarrassment rush, lol...as in God saying "I nabbed u boo, u didn't know I had this up my sleeve now did u?")

All this is by the way jo, I was just thinking about the fact that my hubby and I may have rapped already...lol..where's the excitement in that? I donno again jo...

Goodnight
Ok, I'm not really that depressed, its just for effect...LOL


ok, here's the real goodnight...
Nanyt readers
Yours Truly

Sunday, June 6, 2010

My Boyfriend is my Bestfriends'

In the beginning God decided that ur best friend and ur boyfriend are soul mates but in the course of their journey to meet each other...her destined hubby had an eye for u...he decided to make his move and was successful, well u dated, had a long relationship and then u break up :(

it's time to move on eh? well in the course of things u move to Monaco not cuz of him, but life matters and job issues called for it.

Anywaiz...

Even though now u're miles away, ur best friend and ur boyfriend start talking as per friends now...not looking too deep into it and then they find out that they have feelings for themselves that they can't control. 4 months after their dating. 1 year after, their sending out "save the dates"...what? #rufreakingkiddingme?

Calming down, Calming down
Ok lets think here, since I'm all the way in Monaco and they're in the states, all my best friend is telling me is that "I met someone, u know him but u won't believe it...He's so awesome. I'm sure this is it, the LORD confirmed it"
On the other end, I'm like "tell me who, tell me, tell me" n she's like "babe when the time is rite"...hmmm. The day he proposes, she rings me, and we're gisting like normal, when she goes, "He proposed, He Proposed, I'm sorry I can't contain myself"..
so I'm like ok whats his name?, then she says "my exes name"...

hmmm...I'm hoping this babe means another namesake just came into town that I happen to know (it had better not be the guy I'm thinking)...then I reply, "lemme give u a call back"...

I'm losing my mind here... Ok, I'm going to try to be a rational christian here...so I call my mum cuz as much as I try my mind is just not getting to a rational stage, I'm pretty pissed.
My mum goes, "'Yours Truly', u need to pray for God to give u the strength to still love 'em regardless, pray that the Lord would bless their relationship, pray for the best for them...God knows best and He knows what he's doing"...LOL...I say, "yes mum..."
but frankly, I'm still pissed!

My thot process leads me to the fact that God would not give u more than u can handle, and I don't think I can handle this...I really can't...I'm bout to burst into real flames.

This is fictional, I just imagined it happening, so I've decided to start praying about it from now so that if it happens, I'd do exactly what my mum said and bless their union and love them NO MATTER WHAT! :D

I'm a lover not a fighter...LOL ;)

#Lifeistuff!
Yours Truly

LOL...Lust O Lust

Train up a child in the way that he should go so that when he is old he would not depart from it. So I'm going to take u on a teens journey through adolescence...

I'm going to put in my hours, my love, my knowledge, etc in raising my children but I must say even in all of this there is the issue of the community and as we know or should know...the community a child grows up in also builds that child. For this reasons I question where to raise my children?

abroad gives them many opportunities that Nigeria does not offer.

It enables them to think outside the box, explore things they would otherwise have been unaware of; staying in Nigeria. They understand that they do not have to be either Engineers, Doctors, Accountants or study Economics. There are other fields of study. Well in short, the opportunities are endless. On the flip side, they are surrounded by things they tend to take for granted (the electricity, the freedom, the food). They tend not to understand what it means to live without. Learning to live without is a vital lesson, which is of top priority to me. Their freedom creates room for smoking at age say 14 or maybe even younger (trust me, I've seen this in public high schools), sex as soon as they understand what it is (starting at age 13), making out in public places...its ridiculously outrageous and unbecoming.

Recently I found someone I would like to call my younger brother, well not by blood but u know how it goes with us, Nigerians, who isn't our brother/sister/Aunty/Uncle...lol heck...we even have BIG mummy's...LOL..
Ok lemme get back on track cuz I know me now...hmmm...b4 I know it we'd be talking bout sum'n else...
as I was sayn so I nabbed dem doing the "McNasty", OK not completely McNasty but level 10 making out, not making love...[*if they were making luv - ("making luv"...lol...it sounds so razz...sorry guys #personalopinion), I donno what I'd do]. In short, I had prepared my mind b4 my sidekick suggested that we tip-toe...lol...don't worry she's like significantly younger hence the suggestion. In the end of all this, I must say I was scarred. They didn't notice our presence so we went back like nothing ever happened. The rest of the day all I could think about was "to confront or not to confront?...hmm".

The next day was church.
B4 I left for church I had prayed about it and asked God what to do...trust God now, he does His things in a very slick kinda way...

When we got back from school, "my more or less bro confronted me"...lol..look whos doing the confronting...In my mind, I'm like "God u get style sha..."

He was like my "fake sidekick" told him about our little "appearance/observation"...(yea, sure to keep a secret...lol). Y'all shuda seen me, I was on my grown up P meyn...LOL...ok on the realz tho I felt like a mummy...aww...(sobb sobb...blush blush)...

The words I spoke ehn...I didn't even know I knew that much...LOL..
In short, it all boils down to prayer...there's only so much a person can do but when God decides to show off he shows off...n frankly I'm so proud when he shows off...:D

I learnt a valuable lesson that day...I hope it helps any mother out there...the Lord teaches ur children as long as u are willing to put in ur hours and tell him ur issues, He's ever ready to help.

#lesson learnt
Yours Truly :)

ps: if u know these folks keep it to urself, if u don't, don't try to know...this is a personal (anonymous) blog! :)

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Scary Hook-Up

You know sometimes life can be real funny, if not every time (*when u think about it). There's this group on FB where you (ladies) can talk about your dreams, life, marriage etc. Its called THE BRIDES CHAMBER. I just recently joined, say 3 days ago and I must say...I like :)

On the discussion board, there was a topic about dreams and on this board a lady talked about how some guy from church told her that God told him that she was his wife. Since she was a new christian she basically played along and tried to love him back. During this period she spoke to some older ladies who explained to her that, "God will not give u what u don't want and he is not a God of confusion" so ladies, if a guy dreams about u being his wife...if God doesn't reveal it to you himself then well, "marry @ ur own risk"...(*ok, please don't marry yet...wait 4 a confirmation...marriage is such a biggy...no room for mess-ups).

Here's what I was thinking before I read this lady's comment on FB:
Yes, God is not an author of confusion
Yes, He would not give you what you don't want

but...

God will also not give you more than you can bear so what if he gives u a guy that he knows you can handle. (*He confirms that this guy is urs so theres no confusion but u think u're getting what u don't want until u find out say, 10 years after that ur hubby was the perfect pick 4 u)

This guy is 3 inches shorter than u (for those who want a taller guy)
He's black, as in the colour black not human black, jet black...(for those who had light skinned as a criteria or rather on their hubby list)
He has terrible dentition and yellow teeth (although it can be repaired, he's just not interested in that kinda upkeep)
well the list goes on....

the gist here is that the dude God says is urs does not look like urs when u meet him, maybe if u take time to know him, he'd be perfect but b4 the 'getting to know him' stage, u really just ain't feeling this...then what?

Do u give up? is it worth it? would u triple/quadruple question that God didn't make a mistake like deliver the wrong dude to ur "life's doorstep"? I bet there are a million different things that one would do...

but if this were to happen to me, I think Imma just fast and pray for a long period to confirm that I heard God correctly...lol.

On the other hand I believe if u get to know the guy first, with no 'relationship motive/expectations', u would love him much easily because by this time the 'Love is Blind' pill wulda kicked in.

I'm really just wondering what you would do...please comment on this. Humor Me :)
Yours Truly

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The ABCs of Marriage

So Bubbles is on her way to a family wedding and well obviously she has to get wedding gifts. In the midst of her difficulty in finding a wedding gift, she came across the PERFECT wedding gift. It was a marble slab which reads:

ADMIT mistakes
BELIEVE in forever
CALL when you're late
DANCE at midnight
ESTABLISH trust
FORGIVE easily
GO on dates
HAVE fun
INSPIRE each other
JUST listen
KISS like you mean it
LAUGH, LINGER, LIGHTEN up
MAKE up quickly
NURTURE friendship
OPEN your heart
PAY attention
don't QUIBBLE
REMEMBER why you fell in love
SHARE your toys
TALK things over
UNDERSTAND differences
VALUE integrity
WALK together
eXPECT joy
be YOURSELF
amaZe your mother-in-law

Bubbles mentioned that the 'D' tip was rather disturbing...LOL...I kinda agree/somewhat...y does it have to be @ midnight? Dance anytime jo #yoruba.

very good tips
very good


...thot it'd be nice to share.
Yours Truly :)

The Power of a Praying Partner

For some reason it feels like I haven't blogged for a while...
Well its a new month and I hope this month is better for us all...#AMEN

Recently, I have been going through a few things which I am afraid I cannot fully disclose but it is well...#AMEN

Amongst my recent activities is studying for a life insurance license.
I must say life since I graduated from school has been a ridiculously depressing whirlwind.


While studying, something terrible happened #personal. I really hope happened is right and not is happening cause I'm bout to get real crazy up, in here. Anywaiz back to the koko
so as I was saying something terrible HAPPENED where I prayed and thought it was all over but it wasn't entirely over. Today it recurred and I really needed to share this mess with someone, which usually would be my mum but well I decided to off load on my darling darling happy feet (*hope u're blushing...lol). After I had asked her to pray for me I thought of the need of a praying hubby. I would have shared this with him instantly, no thought...and immediately his spirit would begin the prayers.

As we are one, my pain would be his and my joy his.

The thought and the necessity of a prayerful hubby overwhelmed me and I began to think of all the things that my praying partner could do for me. I mean of course I've always wanted a spirit-filled hubby but I kinda felt a breeze of why it is so necessary Someone to be strong in my weakness and fill in the gaps where/when I am empty.

A non-spirit dude just wouldn't cut it. Every problem should be attacked with prayer, something spiritual not just physical which is what an unbeliever can offer. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me enough but frankly thats the extent of man #physicalstuff. "It would be ok baby, don't worry babe" just isn't enough.

I need results and only God can deliver. Marriage is a triangle, with God at the top and the hubby and wifey at each corner. God just gotta be there or the marriage is not really worth it.

One has just gotta have a praying partner.
Yours Truly.

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