Monday, April 30, 2012

Battle of the Sexes

Join us tonight on gidilounge.fm and defend your sex. If you'd like to call in, the number is 1-866-566-4434. If you'd like to chat with us during the show, log in to tiny chat.



Thursday, April 26, 2012

Real CRAZY love



Heeeeeyyyy!!!

So, I sorta kinda have gist.

What am I saying, I sorta kinda have gist, I mean to say, "country peepoh, con sidon, con hear, tori tori dey oooo"

Why have I not blogged?

I did something sorta stupid and as a result, my hideout, (here - blogger) has been compromised. This new dude and I were talking and I mentioned my anonymous blog. Don't ask me why I did...I just did!

I didn't tell him what it was, after much probing and searching I gave him a hint. I was almost positive that hint would never work but as you can tell it did.

Since then my freedom to blog has been crippled because I'm clearly going to be spilling stuff to you all about him but...it's my fault, I can't expect y'all to pay for my mistakes...lol

So yea, it's been going really good. I’ve been falling “in like” with him more and more as each day goes by.

A few things I wanted to mention to you earlier in the month were that I was sorta worried about two things and didn't know if those were enough to push him away. Earlier on when this all started, I had this weird fear of commitment and I just wanted to remain single. I give him a lotta time, he gives me soo much time and attention, sometimes I'm waiting for the bomb of his faults to drop so I can say, "I knew you were too good to be true”

I could easily type up a book telling you how good he’s been to me. I keep thinking it’s just the honeymoon phase and things would pass. I’ve been so negative lately, it’s actually quite disgusting. When I say negative, there’s this part of me that keeps waiting for the bad thing to happen. I never use to be like that and I don’t buy the idea of past relationships building a permanent heart wreck outta me.

He’s got dreadlocks and he’s a vegetarian. Many girls generally would be like hawtness, I on the other hand saw myself standing on the top of a 100 storey building screaming, “what-da-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll” after cheesing at him all day, like everything was all good. You mean to tell me I’ve learnt to cook all these different meals, for a guy to come my way and be chopping grass….heehnn…”I nor dey o”. If I was searching for a white man, heck, I know where to find em. (this is all based on the assumption that we have a permanent future together).

I’m at a point in my life where everyone around me is getting married and quite frankly, I’m in no hurry whatsoever, I just want the right guy to find me, when the time is right, but this doesn’t mean that whoever I “talk” to I don’t imagine a future with them, cuz I do. If things can’t work, then I best get to stepping real quick or build a wall, that keeps us focused as friends.

These dreadlocks!...lol…my cousins are sorta still amazed, its sorta “H, if anyone else, not you though”. I’m more of a clean-shaven-man-in-a-fresh-suit-typa-girl, but I would say this, it pays to let a good guy in regardless of what he eats or how he looks. If I saw this guy from a distance, I’d keep him at a distance, but I met his character first and to say the least I’m head over mighty heels for him…

After getting to know him, he’s not only attractive on the inside, I actually think his dreads are very very sexy…*covers face* and he’s taller than me not just by 4 inches but a good 8/9”. I really like that.

In short, what I’m trying to say is, I really like this new guy. A LOT!

We’ve skyped for up to 12 hours before and since then we’ve been going at it every night. Is that creepy? We’d fall asleep for bout 3 – 4 hours then wake up and continue then maybe nap a little longer and then continue till one of us has to leave…DON’T JUDGE US!...lol


In other news, I finally told this other guy that I couldn’t get over that I HAD a crush on him, just so I could close the chapter completely and focus on my new found “LOVE”?



Comment to tell me what you think he said/did


******************************************



My girlfriend called me last night to tell me that the guy that had been chatting her up (the one she was unsettled about, who recently started singing in the choir) is married to a girl who sponsored his trip to Canada, and the girl that he comes to church with on Sundays is his girlfriend. Imagine that?!

The dreadlocks and vegetarianess are just shallow of me, right? I think so


Are you all listening to my radio show on www.gidilounge.fm? Dudulive with Daedae and Deedee, Monday nights at 8pm EST?

Monday, March 26, 2012

Addressed Concerns + Appreciation


Hey all,

I got a chance to read through all your very concerned comments. I've got to say, "I LOVE YOU". You're actually thinking about the aftermath, if there is an aftermath, what the consequences are, if this is good for me, how good this is for me etc.

A lotta concerns and joys. Nice. Thanks

To address a few concerns, I'm definitely not using this guy, that's for sure. I've met other guys since my previous crush but they didn't get my attention. Not only that, you'd remember that I mentioned not making use of guys I know are interested in me as distractions in one of my much older posts. I did that in 2010, to get over Mr. Ex, remember? it's just cruel!

This new guy is still NEW. I think we'd call him, "honey"...so I don't have to make sentences like, "this new guy is still NEW"...lol.

It's official, I really like him and I'm scared to let myself feel what I feel, I keep over thinking it. I called my mum up this morning, or rather she called me up and we were gisting about how I felt. It's sorta like I'm afraid to like, love, or whatever you might call it. I don't want to make a mistake or put myself in a situation where I get hurt.

I'm guessing to crush, is to take up a challenge on the possibilites of whatever might evolve...but...I don't want to allow myself to feel exposed.

I've taken it to GOD several times and it's going to be a daily prayer as it has always been.

Unlike my immediate ex crush. He has already expressed how he feels, we've decided to take baby steps and let things grow. If it's meant to be, it'll work out and if it's not, it had better shamble before I get too close to bleed.

H
Lemme know what you're thinking, I really value your opinions, I need a voice of reason. Ask questions in the comment box and they would all be addressed in my next post

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Antidote

soooo...ladies and gents.

I think I sorta have some sorta kinda good news.

If you've been following my love life story, here's the latest break through. I am certain that some of you would be like, "na wa, this babe", some others, "halleluyah"...

HAHAHA...I know what you're thinking, "finally...", "finally she's said something", "he's finally made a move"

Lol. Stop with all the "finally" assumptions.

*
**
****
******
********
**********
It is with great pleasure that I announce to you that it is none of the above. All assumptions are WRONG.

Anywaiz, so there's this guy I started talking to some time towards the end of last year. It was all professional and business related but it has evolved to a little more than I had originally intended.

Well I had no intentions but yea.

We've been talking all day every day but we've still been able to maintain our busy schedules. He's the sweetest, seriously. LOL.

I know I describe almost everyone like this but, what can I say, I'm a magnet for sweet guys, but somehow I have managed to repel a solid relationship...*sigh*...infact, *very deep sigh*.

I've been thinking about pulling back from this new guy, but he's really helping me get over the other guy, and I think I might have a new crush *covers face*

I enjoy talking to him and being the early stages of getting to know someone, y'all know how fabulous that can be.

Anywaiz, I've got the antidote, *whoop whoop*

I feel some sort of relief and I'm enjoying the moment, trying not to over analyze things. Heaven only knows what God has planned.

H

Saturday, March 17, 2012

answeeerrr

I sorta got an answer from this video.

Stay the HECK away from this dude (ref past two posts)
Gotta stay focussed!


yes?

H

Thursday, March 15, 2012

the feeling...

Don't you just love days when you wake up and your bb light is blinking...and you wonder into thoughts of what the text could be, something along the lines of, "good morning sunshine...did you sleep well?"

So you unlock your phone and it's 3 personal emails, 2 forwards from your mum, 4 mentions on twitter, 1 text message from your Pastor and 2 bbm messages...

niiiice, 2 bbm messages?

You obviously save the bbm messages and check them last...you work your way slowly through the almost irrelevant messages, just because in your mind, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the excitement is aggravated when it takes longer to get to them.

Now you're done the mails, forwards, tweets, text and now you attempt to open up your bbm...getting all giddy inside...even though your eyes aren't completely wide open and you're still sort of in sleep mode, all your body senses start to awaken in anticipation and hope..

You open up your bbm and two people have sent you messages.
One of the messages is the morning bible verse you get daily from a friend and the other is from another friend who just wanted to say wassup...

*sigh*

You begin to wish you had opened the bbm first and replied that one tweet last. There was no "hello sunshine..." nothin remotely close to icing your cake...just a bunch of messages killing your battery...

Funny how that one (special message, from that "special" someone) text that didn't come in, suddenly made all other messages seem like they were running your battery down...lol

Good Morning

*time to get ready for work*

....

*Typing from work now*

Thanks for all your advice on my previous post but truth be told, I don't think I'm up to having a conversation even though I'm 100% sure that's the solution. I'm bent on pretending I feel nothing and focussing on reading my novels to get him off my mind completely.

He lives in the next building, works with the same organization, goes to the same church...etc, I can't handle the awkwardness after. If things weren't so "coincidental" in that we weren't at the same places, involved in the same things, I might, MIGHT, go ahead and attack the issue head on. Generally, I have enuff courage to do what I think is necessary, but this guy has got me all weak and constantly second-guessing confrontation.

In my mind, the least painful solution would be if someone who knew told him and I didn't know about it...

What if we have a conversation and it's all sour and stuff?
I'm too emotional now to handle sour.

Silly emotions got me feeling less of a woman...weak n stuff, yuck! I don't like weak.

H

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Journey to CONFUSION

I can't seem to figure out what happened.

"Hi", I said.

"Hi", He replied

It was a cordial conversation as respect to ourselves and also to the one who had introduced us.

From a brief professional conversation to lengthier professional convos, till the tides turned our conversations to giggles and more personal conversations.

Then we met again, briefly, as a result of his subtle welcome.

He offered to buy me dinner and being me, I insisted on paying my bill.

I finally moved down and we hung out even more, he was the sweetest, the cutest, he was different from the guys I had liked in the past..his drive and confidence made him even sexier... I pulled myself away, refused to ask for favours even though I may have desperately needed it. I didn't want to fall, but I did. I fell so flat, I feel like I sunk.

We got closer, and at that point, I was certain we felt the same way but expressing myself in my mind is an abomination. I have never, and I refuse to make the first move, so I started to fight again. PULLLLING back, in ways I had devised as guaranteed solutions, all to no avail.

It's been ten months, and you won't believe it, I'm still at it.

I noticed he pulled away.
Unsure of if I chased him.

He didn't say a word.
I didn't say a word.
No one spoke, but his signals, and in some ways my signals are all jumbled up now, they hold no meaning and I'm more lost than when this all started.

I wake up with the same prayer everyday, "Lord, STOP IT! Take this feeling away, make my mind/heart free and clear..."

There are days when I get strength from nowhere, but there are days when I feel so weak, too weak to fight.

I'm done fighting...I keep telling myself.
I need to getaway, meet my new distration, but I know that wouldn't last.

A million thoughts racing back and forth, have got me all confused, I think...I think, it's best not to think!

H

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